Fascination

 I've "won" the following awards:

In third or so grade I got a ribbon for peanut butter cookies, and one for violin playing- in 4-H. In the violin contest, my brother who was very young stated as I headed up to play my entry in trembling fear, "She'll never make, no sir she'll never make it." I then beat a girl who really was talented. My mother quoted this WHENEVER possible, always making absolutely SURE I understood the award I got was pity.

In ninth grade I saw an advertisement for a contest for the Monongalia County Seal in the Morgantown Sunday paper. The award was a hundred dollars which seemed to me to be a fortune-I wanted to buy a few things, a new pair of shoes. I drew up something on poster board I went and got and entered it on the deadline the next day, by walking 5 miles to the PO after school on the Monday- which was the deadline day,  and then went home to dream about having that much money to call my own. I won. I had no chance-up against professional artists-seeing my work next to theirs in the award ceremony was one of the most humbling experiences in my life. I don't know why I won-it was I suppose another form of pity. West Virginia can recognize naivete and trying to go against all odds-this is very much a part of my state and county. I remain flattered, they made this a very important lesson for me, and it remains so to this day.

In twelfth grade I won a $100 art scholarship called "Pennies For Art" in a thing in which I entered a piece of art. Despite good grades, excellent excellent grades,  I did not receive ANY kind of award for academics losing to students I generally outscored. But I took that as what I earned-I didn't see myself as an award winner.

In teaching I earned an award a number of years ago from PTA, a Golden Oak. And a beautiful tribute by my Principal.

So, generally, I find it hard to "list your awards" on applications or in resumes. I've held a lot of positions and roles in schools. But as for awards...can't recall much luck.

All this by way of saying.....I got this letter telling me I was nominated for a "fascination" award.
For one of my blog pieces.

Here is the note.

Sent: Monday, May 07, 2012 11:01 A.M 

Subject: Your Blog has Earned a Nomination for the 2012 Fascination Award

Hi there, An article you wrote in 2011 titled Why Writing "Why Teachers Like Me Support Unions" is Like Writing "HELP" has earned your blog a nomination for aFascinationAward: 2012's Most Fascinating English Teacher blog.  The comments posted in response to your post prove that your content not only inspires your audience, but it also creates discussion around your posts, both of which are requirements for the nomination of a Fascination award.  As a nominee of this award, you have full permission to display the "Nominated" emblem on your website. To learn more about the contest, the rules, or the prizes, click here: 2012 Fascination Awards Rules & Prizes.  To get started: Accept your nomination by replying to this email by Friday May 11 (11:59 PM EST). Claim your "Nominated" badge to display on your blog: Nominated Badge  Voting begins May 14th at 11:01 AM (EST). The blog with the most votes by May 21st at 11:59 PM (EST) will win the grand prize, a $100 restaurant gift card.   Good luck and thank you for your participation!  Matthew Pelletier  Director of Public Relations       Accelerated Degree Programs

I'm not sure what to say.
My readers massively voting me to some award seems highly unlikely.

I tried to explain this to the people that sent this. I don't really even know who they are.

I'm rather surprised. They suggested to me I put this on my blog to gain "votes."

You know how I felt when I was a kid?
 I thought if I got a blue ribbon on my cookies that somehow I was special, and I had these unbelievable thoughts that my family would be proud of me. And THAT would make me somehow good, wanted, loved.
And everything would be ok.

It never fails that I have sets of these feelings around the possibility of praise, acknowledgement, recognition.

It's been a factor in my ability to display art I made, in writing, in audience, in what I do.
And somehow this reminded me again of that.


I see myself reacting somewhat touched in this way, as my children won awards or had recognitions.

And at the base of this-just the human desire to feel recognized, seen, admired.
It's a dangerous thing isn't it?
A funny thing too-and I'm going to have to remember here at the end of the year to make the awards and recognition of the efforts of my students meaningful.


I think the award implies I ask for your votes.
It's ok though. Really.
I asked for help winning an ipad for my class with a poem on FB and had four friends vote for me and I still appreciate that they took the time.

A Day In The Life has been my fascination on and off for a bit. But trying to talk openly about education, as truthfully as I could as a person-I'm not sure if that's so interesting to others.
Perhaps........Ken, my brother, was right.
I don't think my rendition of "Long, Long Ago" has improved all that much, and I'm not sure if I will make it brother.

Leading me to just be thankful at the time I wrote this blog I was afforded free enough speech to have attempted it.

And this is about what I did, though I was older...




See my Mrs. Puglisi's 100 National Standards