Today after everything was through, I sat in my third grade classroom when 15 young children came to the door to say goodnight. One or two of
my students had also remained to clean and straighten the room as they always do. One child noticed a white hair on my black pants saying, "Oh you have a
white hair on your pants."
As you know hair is something that we all
have-but it is very different when your blond hair has faded to a grey
and you are 54. It embarrasses me for some reason. Especially if it is on my clothes! So sometimes my students want to take a good look at my
hair. She carefully took a look at
this hair while I was trying to stuff it into
the garbage can. She was interested unbelievably. And so I said self deprecatingly,
"Oh my hair is so grey, and I have these wrinkles and aches and
pains-growing old is such a bother."
One child looked at me seriously, a long time,
and then they all nodded looking at my hair.
Then the child that
originally found me shedding asked me to go on YouTube from the
computer on my desk.
"I want to show you something but we'll look at the English version first."
So she put this on:
All the while my group was listening, laughing, enjoying, singing, most knew this song. Sharing about this and other things as I realized what she was giving me.
Then her sister, who joined us, suggested I listen to it in Tagalog-the way they sing it at home.
And so she put this version on:
She
carefully explained that this is sung by two singers from Germany that
know Tagalog. I asked if they thought we could learn it. They looked at
me, "In Tagalog?" both giggled. "Sure," I said.
Well they thought that was funny. And impossible.
I think we can do it.
And I also think this was a wonderful way to treat a teacher trying to cope with growing old.
Don't
you? One of the sweetest examples of the decency and basic goodness in
my class. I would honestly say the gift of this song at this moment is
truly spectacular.
Here is the original version I found looking after they went happily home.
So here are the lyrics she had a connection to from my white hair:
Kahit Maputi na ang Buhok Ko - Rico J. Puno
(Even when my hair is white)
Kung tayo’y matanda na (When we are older)
Sana’y di tayo magbago (I hope we won't change)
Kailan ma’y, nasaan ma’y (Anytime, anywhere)
Ito ang pangarap ko (This is my wish)
Makuha mo pa kayang ako’y hagkan at yakapin ooh (Could you still kiss and hug me?)
Hanggang pagtanda natin (Until we grow older )
Nagtatanong lang sa `yo (I am just asking you)
Ako pa kaya’y ibigin mo (Will you still love me?)
Kung maputi na ang buhok ko (Even when my hair is already white)
Pagdating ng araw (The day will come)
Ang `yong buhok as puputi na rin (Your hair will also become white)
Sabay tayong mangangarap (We shall reminisce together)
Ng nakaraan sa `tin (our memories of the past)
Ang nakalipas ay ibabalik natin ooh (We shall bring back the past)
Ipapaalala ko sa `yo (I will remind them to you)
Ang aking pangako (My promise)
Na ang pag-ibig ko’y laging sa ‘yo (Is that my love will always be yours)
Kahit maputi na ang buhok ko (Even when my hair is white)
Kahit maputi o wala na ang buhok ko (Even when my hair becomes white or gone)
Isn't it amazing that she connected to this song and asked me if it would be okay to share a song?
I'm
going to enjoy her bringing this to our class. Each day we sing, because
music lyrics are powerful ways to teach reading-for one thing, and I
think our learning Tagalog will be powerful too!
All of this reminds me of a poem. It has always been a dear friend to me.
When You Are Old
WHEN you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim Soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.
William Butler Yeats
I am gaining the perspectives of aging. As surely as a wink I know our life flies by us.
When
Mom died, very recently, as I watched her gasp and struggle to live-something that is so painful to recall- and
then her heart stopped and she was gone I laid my hand upon her face,
her white hair on the pillow, her form distorted by the years and the
last few moments. Her skin was so soft, her life force fled. I asked
her forgiveness for what I did not do for her or for what I had not
understood, or done that ever hurt her, and I thanked her for all she had done for me. It
was what I needed to say. Mom had gone.
I
wondered as I sat with her a few minutes if she had ever been really
loved, not as by a child, but if anyone had really seen and understood
in her all the things that I might never know. If she had had a person
that ever dreamed of her, had waited for her to write-if someone had
thought that she hung the moon- someone that would bend light, do anything to be with her....I wondered if somewhere in the days of
her life she'd had the happiness of a love that saw her and loved her for who she was. My father had never, that I ever knew, even seemed to like her.
It
was a strange place perhaps for my mind to go, but that was what
passed over my thoughts. A daughter does not know, not really, THAT
person in their mother. That life inside her that I'm sure had stories,
secrets, private thoughts of tenderness and desire. But I thought of her
youth, as she had been doing in her last days, and I thought of her vitality and how much I wished as she was
older that someone would tell her, care for her, express to her that love-how
much it would help her through the very difficult thing that aging was.
Love is a gift.
When we are given that gift, it is important not to throw it away. Or look away.
Today a child gave me a loving hand back into life.
I can only hope that I am able to reach out with my heart to do the same.For those I love.
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