I write to communicate about suffering
Tonight we mourn the children
That wore funny little Hello Kitty shirts
Newly washed hair
Thinking of their friends
Hannukah, Christmas, Winter Breaks
Donated their toys
To causes they could only glimpse
But could not yet know.
They've slipped beyond the veil.
Some were just losing their baby teeth
There must be those yet to use a sharp knife
To cut up their apple slices
So you need to peel it for me, they ask.
Unable to fathom
How any human being
Could
Do the unthinkable acts this day
Children lost to this instant in time
As I was working today
Remembering lockdowns, the first time
A knife came in my classroom in LA
One that threatened us and left
Where I didn't get through on an intercom
And didn't even get to speak to a policeman
Saw my own children in time
As babies
Losses now strung on our human consciousness.
A tiny child steps to a microphone
Telling us
How this happened to him
Today.
And the world realizes the worst fears
Imagined
Touching my daughter's leg
Resting under a rose garden afghan
She watches the media and her mother closely
Sophia says gently then to me
You teach, and we have all been
Touched by these tragedies,
Personally touched in our home
I know it is from this place
We are connected
All of us
Around a world
Mourning the children, the teachers, our losses, their loss to us.
I think to write a poem of pain filled farewell.
One tries to make sense of this. How in the world could a person slaughter innocent children? The answer will never be known.
ReplyDeleteThere will always be unfortunate individuals whom fall under the spell of insanity. The human mind is vastly complex. At times it will malfunction and disaster will result. We know this.
Why then are we as a society so willing to arm these people? Twenty children, twenty graves to be dug, forty devastated parents, eighty grief stricken grandparents...brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, and 500 other children that will not sleep well for a long time. And we have the adults, and we have Portland, Brookfield, Minneapolis, Texas A&M, Milwaukee, Aurora, Wilmington, Seattle, Tulsa, Oakland, Pittsburgh, Chardon, Jackson and Norcross...all in 2012.
We have rights. The assault rifle ban expired in 2004. Why would that ban expire? Was it too sensible? Why do Federal background checks not apply to gun shows? Why can one buy a 100 round magazine? Blood is running in the streets and we can't find a politician in Washington willing to allow the words gun control pass through their lips.
The problem is not the crazy people. You are always going to have crazy people. The problem is us, the crazy society that tolerates this madness, wrings our hands, and hope that we don't get caught in the next slaughter which we can probably expect before the end of the year. We have rights. But what rights did those children have this past morning? One can only hope that they died quickly. We have rights, but I guess we also have the obligation to bury our dead without complaint. We certainly can not infringe on someone's rights.
As a teacher....
ReplyDeleteAnd then I find I cannot shape even a response. Maybe I'm not even "allowed" under current control to respond with experiences I have.
Sad beyond anything I can ever say.
Reading this in the glare of daylight rather than 3 AM, what kind of world do we live in where one's hope for a child is that they died quickly? That is blasphemy.
DeleteI am distraught over this from a distance. Sarah, I can't imagine how you feel.
You are a father.
ReplyDeleteThere is no distance for me for this.
I see those children's heads-smelling of their baby years, the shampoos, the love and care of their families. Bright, beautiful, unique -to me each life is potentiall and really the "salvation" we all seek.
This is so deeply tragic.
We have been talking in our house this morning. My husband goes at ten to distribute all the toys gathered to children in the area. At 4 to a meeting for a part of our community-very poor, needing representation-help. I just keep thinking about things.
It isn't blasphemy to want them not to suffer.
It just was trying to hold on to some thing, anything.
Love.
It's the only answer I have.
Thank you for your friendship.