Questions, questions, questions......

This came from Throughlines
..I didn't read it well. I wanted to answer it..
I like to answer...the last time I played "questions" with a friend reading their answers was literally the most fun I'd had in years.
(Of course I think it annoyed him and he didn't enjoy it at all...such is life..)
I'm writing on the MAC I'm trying out and can't figure out link stuff, no buttons, it is so strange... sorry..



1. Are you really interested in the preservation of the human race once you and all the people you know are no longer alive?


I'm interested in preserving our planet and especially the human race. Am I REALLY? Yeah I think I am. I'm hoping in those I don't know is the redemptive energy to solve some pretty deep seated stuff I see as almost intractable. I'd be a pretty narcissistic jack--s not to feel the desire to give the rest of us the same kind of chance I had. I'm interested enough I find it compelling.



2. State briefly why.

Well in the interest of brevity I think it's about love.
Is it fair to say that a long answer might be more interesting.



3. How many of your children do not owe their existence to deliberate intention?


By what? God? Universe? Myself? Their father seemed rather deliberate at the time. Or intended. My kids were given. So fair enough I received them.


4. Whom would you rather never have met?


My father. Fathom that. Yeah, even on the genetic level.


5. Are you conscious of being in the wrong in relation to some other person (who need not necessarily be aware of it)? If so, does this make you hate yourself - or the other person?


Sure lots of life puts us wrong in relation to another. I'm often wrong. And often put in situations I am not ready to meet. Sure at times I hate myself in relationship to these things. When I project, then i become someone I can't stand. It's awful.




6. Would you like to have perfect memory?


Who would want perfection in any area? It would mean I think you would need to be institutionalized. Perhaps a better frame for me is those who believe they actually do possess said perfect memory. I'd love to recall my 1st grade and a few repressed things, I think. I read once one function of fading memory is protective, another a way to prevent a kind of almost ADD memory everything always there, equal, unable to be sorted...categorized, released. It would be a hellish thing I think.



7. Give the name of a politician whose death through illness, accident, etc. would fill you with hope. Or do you consider none of them indispensable?


This is pretty negative. I'm not much for Kim Jong-Il but .....this is just an example of convincing myself that this kind of thought process is acceptable. Generally I think its better to think positive or for good.



8. Which person or persons, now dead, would you like to see again?


My father in law, his sister, my grandparents, Freda Vandervort, Aaron Goodman, Ferne Vincent, Charlotte Costello, Sylvia Bluhm, Aunt Sarah, Aunt Doris, Mrs. Peyton, Joan my mom in law, MLK, James Baldwin, oh it goes on and on...



9. Which not?


I'm not looking forward to meeting again a few ...umm...at this second I can't name one.


10. Would you rather have belonged to a different nation (or civilization)? If so, which?


I would say I was born with the greatest chance ever on our planet. But I would also say my affinity has been with those less fortunate or those treated with prejudices and racism. I would rather walk in their shoes. I admire their fortitude.


11. To what age do you wish to live?

25,000

But this has been good too.


12. If you had the power to put into effect things you consider right, would you do so against the wishes of the majority? (Yes or no)


oh absolutely , I'm not much impressed with majority thinking.



13. Why not, if you think they are right?

Shouldn't this say if I think I am right?

Did I say they were right? What convolution was this?
In the name of the majority I can think of lots of hate filed action.I've seen it.
A better test is, will it work for all. Did we consider other's positions are we walking in their shoes.



14. Which do you find it easier to hate, a group or an individual? And do you prefer to hate individually or as part of a group?


Hate preferences are strange. I think hating is an ongoing thing I work to try to boundary in myself. I try. I really do. I try.
Mob action and bitter nasty spite sprang to mind reading this.

On any level my grandmom once said, hate will eat your heart away.
Actions that hurt others, I think I can hate those actions separated out specifically as wrongs, as the ignorance they are. Hate consumes victim and persecutor.


15. When did you stop believing you could become wiser - or do you still believe it? Give your age.


I believe I know less everyday. I believe or am compelled to read, think, connect, consider, weigh, broaden...I'm 47.



16. Are you convinced by your own self-criticism?

Sometimes.


17. What in your opinion do others dislike about you, and what do you dislike about yourself? If not the same thing, which do you find it easier to excuse?


Self righteousness, sometimes my abilities, strange creative drives, quirky features of my thoughts, generally I think my early life in some ways damaged my "relative" social instincts. I think I'm inclined to indulging myself and lazy in some ways not fully using every second to maximum. I loath my inability to affect things that really matter.

18. Do you find the thought that you might never have been born (if it ever occurs to you) disturbing?

No. But I "Don't want to die".There are a few people I want to hug yet.

19. When you think of someone dead, would you like him to speak to you, or would you rather say something more to him?


I'd like to listen. I think I miss that the most.


20. Do you love anybody?

Yeah I love somebody. I love.



21. How do you know?

When I think of them my entire being finds a place of rest. Or ...well...I know.That I know.


22. Let us assume that you have never killed another human being. How do you account for it?


Dumb luck.


23. What do you need in order to be happy?


Love. Books, purpose, making, food drink, enough to get by, security, some level of fairness, or illusion of same, friends, communication, hey I need somebody..not just anybody, some music would help, the beautiful planet, it's getting longer and longer.



24. What are you grateful for?

Life, those dear to me, our world, knowledge, living....


25. Which would you rather do: die or live on as a healthy animal? Which animal?

I'm not sure I can answer this.



1. Which student would you most like to meet up with again? Why?

Phyllis who I taught in South Central over 20 years ago. I thought she would never make it, possibly had Marfan's. I want to believe she made it. I want to face what I learned teaching in our nation's ghettos.I wrote her story here in my blog.

2. Which teacher?

Mrs. Peyton, Miss Dubois, Ms. McClain, Mrs. Marino who I write, Mr. Hill my high school math teacher.


3. What do you hope that your students have learned from you?

To do things, create, act with integrity, figure things out, have a desire to learn. Question. Be kind, humble, caring.


4. Is there any reason to believe they have done so? How do you know?

Many come see me. They find ways. I have had students who have given me the feedback. That kind of loop really matters. I write, work trying to find ways to reconnect to students. I frankly listen to them.

5. Which teacher did you learn the most from?

umm..I learned a lot from Bill Thomas my art education college teacher. He was a student of metaphors. He taught the essential humanities curriculum to me. I learned much that I recall and find relevant now. I learned a great deal from Sharon Goodman my many years art teacher. She just taught life. As well as formal art elements and aesthetics. I try to learn from everyone. My earliest lessons were to do this. So it's a funny thing to isolate into one person. I knew lots of wonderful people. I learn daily too now. . I've had a lifetime of people I learned from.

6. What was it that you learned?

I owe this pages. You learn how to b a you. Or a me. Not just that but that, and to see your capacities and to empathize and to find in others what they have to offer.


7. What's the worst experience you ever had as a teacher or a student?


oh...there are so many worsts because of where and what I chose to do. I went to the front lines essentially and spent a career there. The worst might be a few times students lives were lost and this news came to me...or times I was put in situations of ethical compromise like in NCLB watching humans lose their sense of dignity or their better self. I hate to know this, but of course I knew this. Read Colin Turnbull. As a student any time I was humiliated or embarrassed it hurt.Worse if it was another and I watched in silence learning that I was a weak and stupid fool. But I learned. And I will not do that again. I will not do that. I suppose that is my line. Or when I failed without a way to redeem myself. I suppose I push forward out of bad memories, my racist nasty fifth grade teacher was a nightmare.Punished a lot, was a person with serious issues, consumed with anger and hate. Sad..



8. If you were provided with time, money, and instruction to become expert in one area, which area would you choose, and why?


In art. I have expertise now. I think it is the area that connects all the disciplines. I think actually as it is visual and makes models, it is the active lexicon. I find it comprehensive.


9. What would your students say is your greatest weakness as a teacher?


I can barely tolerate lack of effort. I am disinclined to find it cute. But the kids would say "Cokes", I have a weakness.


10. What compromises are you ultimately unwilling to make? (Where do you draw the line?)

I can't answer this...I draw lines. I stand up. I'm not in a context here. Ultimately what I say isn't when it matters. It's what I did or do. But I will say this...who would want to live so compromised that you didn't actually ever stand at all.