It's Better and It's Worse

It may be just a feeling but I don't "feel" in the last ten years of never ending site training I've been exposed to any real development, something that makes me a better instructor-at least not through our required trainings. Once in awhile I found it myself and ALWAYS had to pay for it myself. So much that "could" have been- wasn't-in technology, math, in literature, in designing curriculum for the kids. It's been a very mandated, boring, devolving thing. Here is this script, here is this program, here is "what you do." It makes me cry.
I'm aware when I look on-line that it was so different elsewhere.
Is this how we help someone to better skill?

I'm starting to really look at others.
To think about what ought to be happening in my teaching.
This was a teacher my husband hired. And it wasn't easy-he had other great candidates-he trusted his intuition. I'm reading her work now on her high quality blog. Her blog is really wonderful, what a human being. Of course I'm mostly so impressed with her development over time as a teacher. With the math-she doesn't "say" she "loves math"-she kicks your behind doing it with kids. I bet my husband wasn't putting a letter in her file for blogging her teaching or reiterating to her doing that blogging was something he wanted gone and did she use a picture from her lesson? Where is the permission?
Tonight, in fact, he stated her on-line presence still amazes him-and he's moved on to another work place. And I bet she's not constantly in the Principal's office trying to get things her way, or assuring every able student sits in her room while dumping other children elsewhere-behavior so unprofessional it would be hard to even put in a sentence associated with how her school works- I'm sure. The focus here is on great instruction. And teacher skill and creativity, invention-on the beauty of learning. I miss this terribly. And I know how her school assisted her because I know who assisted her-what she wanted they bought-among so many other things. I'm waiting reimbursement for buying a tray thing for my printer and still no answer on the Reading Rainbow App. Good grief can something like this be real?  De-skilling. Well it was really taking away a teacher's sense of humanity, professionalism, competence and worth. I cannot get a book rack, or a reply about it-buy it yourself. Much less instructional materials. It's so different from her reality it gives me stress, pain and is crushing. (even if I was unfriended on facebook by this terrific teaching person-gosh knows why). When I look at this I think-am I wrong to want this at the school where I teach? Am I wrong to want to work with content specialists that love to teach, or those not simply complying or endlessly "yesing" or providing  canned instruction, and doing it "well"? How much SME can your students do while you think "it works"-it simply grinds away. It's so far from this.
I'm starting to look at those teachers that are expanding into Common Core-people on-line in very effective places-not as the new test to practice, but looking at units as they are developing them. By and large really great instructors probably don't realize how much I envy their process. And I hope they keep blogging- even if I can't. And may they do the art I cannot.

I lost problem of the day, problem of the week in math- when it was insisted we do what the neighbor teacher was doing, I lost literature sets that way too. Now I'm thinking about how much we lost in ten years of standardization in under-performing world. And who insisted on that.
Lost time, lost kids, losses.


Would it be too much to ask to return to high quality teaching, like the teacher linked to above has demonstrated? Or this teacher does daily?